Jaisalmer
Every myth, fable, yarn, fairy tale and epic has a fortress on a high, craggy hill. This one was the first (or, at least, half of it in this picture).
The entryway is ridiculously massive in the way ancient kings used to hit you with the first impression of inserting yourself into a place of unspeakable strength and power. My fort is bigger than your fort.
I'm sure it seemed a lot more intimidating when it wasn't lined with carpet salesmen and internet cafes.
I'm sure that dog died while waiting for his internet connection to go through. It would probably be faster to shove a letter up his ass and throw him in the ocean and let the waves bring him across the sea.
Did I mention the whole fort is intricately carved out of solid stone?
And did I mention big, juicy boobies? That kid peeking over his shoulder would probably stab me for a quarter and wear my skin like a suit to hide from the sun.
If you can't read Jaisalmeranese, the writing above this door concisely states:
"Entry of ladies during monthly course period is strictly prohibitted. They are requested to maintain the sanctity of this doorway."
And always there's cows. A barbeque pit, seasame seed bun or silver belt buckle will never come into contact with any part of this holy mother fucker. He'll shit on a picture of Ronald McDonald and then float a puddle of piss towards your shoe like it's nothing.
When lost, always ask the smartest looking person around for directions.
And, yes, Salazaar smokes hash. He played music for us every night at our hotel, and by "us" I mean he sang directly to us. He would look us in the eye, move his carpet so it was directly facing us, gesture at us during the songs with his whole arm, and explain lyrics via hands signs and mouth noises. The last night of our stay I asked him if I could take his picture. He said, "I smoke. Smokey, smokey". Then he made a gesture that looked like he was making a pipe of his fist with his thumb out and near his mouth (I hope it was a smoking gesture!), then primped up the sides of his mustache into curls and made his "pretty face" (you can't make that shit up):
Hands down, the coolest guy I've met all trip long. . . and speaking of smoking. . .
I swear that's not a hash bar. But here's Missy drinking a tastey cup of tea with datura, opium and goat urine.
The entryway is ridiculously massive in the way ancient kings used to hit you with the first impression of inserting yourself into a place of unspeakable strength and power. My fort is bigger than your fort.
I'm sure it seemed a lot more intimidating when it wasn't lined with carpet salesmen and internet cafes.
I'm sure that dog died while waiting for his internet connection to go through. It would probably be faster to shove a letter up his ass and throw him in the ocean and let the waves bring him across the sea.
Did I mention the whole fort is intricately carved out of solid stone?
And did I mention big, juicy boobies? That kid peeking over his shoulder would probably stab me for a quarter and wear my skin like a suit to hide from the sun.
If you can't read Jaisalmeranese, the writing above this door concisely states:
"Entry of ladies during monthly course period is strictly prohibitted. They are requested to maintain the sanctity of this doorway."
And always there's cows. A barbeque pit, seasame seed bun or silver belt buckle will never come into contact with any part of this holy mother fucker. He'll shit on a picture of Ronald McDonald and then float a puddle of piss towards your shoe like it's nothing.
When lost, always ask the smartest looking person around for directions.
And, yes, Salazaar smokes hash. He played music for us every night at our hotel, and by "us" I mean he sang directly to us. He would look us in the eye, move his carpet so it was directly facing us, gesture at us during the songs with his whole arm, and explain lyrics via hands signs and mouth noises. The last night of our stay I asked him if I could take his picture. He said, "I smoke. Smokey, smokey". Then he made a gesture that looked like he was making a pipe of his fist with his thumb out and near his mouth (I hope it was a smoking gesture!), then primped up the sides of his mustache into curls and made his "pretty face" (you can't make that shit up):
Hands down, the coolest guy I've met all trip long. . . and speaking of smoking. . .
I swear that's not a hash bar. But here's Missy drinking a tastey cup of tea with datura, opium and goat urine.
posted by Matthew Pazzol at 5:29 AM
7 Comments:
Bruthaman, glad to see you are hanging around with monkey bandits and men with impressive facial hair.
Hope u guys are doing ok. How many words in Jaisalmerneseish do u know? Do you how to say "hash" and "coffee" yet?
Most Indians understand trace amounts of English. You can't carry-on casual conversations about stuff like finding an electric shaver, or what's in this meal, but "hash", "coffee" and "western-style toilet" are pretty much widely understood.
Did that monkey give u head? Because it looks like he wants to give you head, and it kinda looks like you may not be uninterested in monkey head. Like you wouldn't necessarily stop him right away if he were to start giving you head. Don't get me wrong, you would definitely stop him, just not as quickly as someone who wasn't a little curious about getting monkey head.
the cliffs of insanity!!! did you find a fire swamp?
The closest thing I came to a fire swamp was the indian toilets on the train. We're all used to going Number 1 and Number 2, but around these parts Number 1 and a half is all the rage.
Getting head from anyone who was just eating peanut shells seems dangerous.
OH dear god your pictures and commentary are genius...
And I agree that the monkey was definately giving you the "I'll give you head for a peanut" hand gesture...
AND HELLO you are so right about painting... my teacher ended up giving me the same lecture - paint the whole durn thing black and THEN go over it with the lighter values... it was a real smack myself in the forehead moment. Can you tell I'm a student?? Argh. I painted the whole thing GREY and then tried to add dark onto it. Not so easy.
Thank you so much for your input - I thing your art is beyond amazing and getting any tips is VONDERBAR!! You rock.
looks like you had a really amazing trip!!! thanks for the pics and the details!
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