Welcome Back to Me
First things first:
I'm not one of those guys that bitches about seeing peoples' underwear. You'll never hear "Gross, I can totally see that girls underwear" come out of my mouth. I've been tickled by the direction that pants fashion has taken these past five or so years. I just don't mind seeing asses.
I'll look at your ass. It's kind of a given. I'll check you out. For what purpose? I really don't know.
But what has really been mystifying to me lately is the concept of what's an acceptable amount of your ass that you can expose.
When I was young we had the term "plumber's crack" if your crack was showing. It was mostly attributed to heavy-set bear guys and was considered unflattering. Having the "crack" bore the implication that the person took no pride in their appearance. Almost that they were too lazy to care. It was a bad thing.
However, in more recent years, we have evolved into a state of tolerance towards the exposed crack. In grocery stores and libraries and walking to work you can now wear a considerable amount of your ass on display and most people will feel you no ill will. The boundary of good taste in ass-cheeks is slowly creeping closer and closer to our assholes every year.
By the year 2012 something as miniscule as a candy-corn my be formal attire. Perhaps that same year I'll be able to walk around with only the top half of my piss slit showing and no one will think I'll naked.
I'm not one of those guys that bitches about seeing peoples' underwear. You'll never hear "Gross, I can totally see that girls underwear" come out of my mouth. I've been tickled by the direction that pants fashion has taken these past five or so years. I just don't mind seeing asses.
I'll look at your ass. It's kind of a given. I'll check you out. For what purpose? I really don't know.
But what has really been mystifying to me lately is the concept of what's an acceptable amount of your ass that you can expose.
When I was young we had the term "plumber's crack" if your crack was showing. It was mostly attributed to heavy-set bear guys and was considered unflattering. Having the "crack" bore the implication that the person took no pride in their appearance. Almost that they were too lazy to care. It was a bad thing.
However, in more recent years, we have evolved into a state of tolerance towards the exposed crack. In grocery stores and libraries and walking to work you can now wear a considerable amount of your ass on display and most people will feel you no ill will. The boundary of good taste in ass-cheeks is slowly creeping closer and closer to our assholes every year.
By the year 2012 something as miniscule as a candy-corn my be formal attire. Perhaps that same year I'll be able to walk around with only the top half of my piss slit showing and no one will think I'll naked.
posted by Matthew Pazzol at 1:24 PM
5 Comments:
Yeah, when assholes are fashionable I'll have a hetro "boyzilian" wax party.
Hmmmm.... perhaps the word "hetro" should be in quotes, not boyzillian...
heh heh
i am now thinking of all the glorious ways one could wear a candy corn.
i check people out all the time. sometimes i space out and don't realize i'm staring until i realize i'm staring.
Hahahahah. Excellent.
I check out peoples' bits and bobs too... and I remember the 'plumber's crack' days, as I was securely zipped up in my uber-high-waisted 'mom jeans'... those were FAR WORSE than the cracks we see now - that big giant -gunt- or -fupa- (fatter upper p---y area) are the yukkiest. (I don't have one, they are just accentuated by the momjeans.)
I sadly use the phrase 'muffin-tops' a bit too freely now... and the 'plumber's crack' terminology has been replaced by 'coin slot'...
I'm so ashamed of myself.
Hello.
I am a 42-year-old short and slightly overweight housewife in Cleveland, Ohio.
Now then, let me apologize in advance for this, although I am unsure why I am apologizing, for I feel completely unapologetic about the featured content.
The most embarrassing thing about being me is my total lack of embarrassment.
I love you. Carry on.
You will be wearing something as small as a piece of candy corn, but candy corn will have been banned and any former manufacturers using high fructose corn syrup will be placed in concentration camps outside of Quatar.
Shortly after this, however, entirely clothed will be the new almost naked, and you'll see women in strip clubs wearing Mormon underwear and heavy winter coats with ski masks.
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