So, I think I'm addicted to electrolysis.
I've been spending the summer removing unwanted hair from my body in the most permanent, painstakingly simple, mind-bogglingly tedious way possible. My Lady does the electric massage with the fattest probe possible and sees my case as a pleasure to work on. I guess testosterone-induced body hairs are deeper rooted and more hooked into the bloodstream than the average peach-fuzz-on-the-chin or nearly-invisible-lady-sideburns that most electrolysists deal with.
We chat like housewives at the beauty parlor as she sticks a needle into my skin and electrocutes the hair follicles. AND SHE'S FUCKING FAST!!! She zapped 1251 hairs yesterday in a little over an hour. One of which was the single biggest hair she said she ever removed. She says all these worked-on wife ladies are always coming in wanting to remove hairs she can barely see, even with the microscope headgear and super fucking hot light on a 65-jointed metal arm. Mine she could see from across the street. It allows her to bring in the tv and we watch a talkshow for an hour and then I'm done (I'm now in love with refrigerated aloe).
Looks like I'll be done by about Christmas, with a little maintenance here and there every month or so, and then what? Where do I get my weekly dose of evenly-distributed pain followed by a less-painful-but-entertaining healing process (it's kinda like having to take care of a plant)? Will I get addicted to tattoos? Will I get hooked on piercings?
It's funny how all the forms of body modification (mentioned above) that I've partook of in my life involve a needle piercing my skin. You'd think, in this day and age, it would be digital or at least mechanical, but no, sharp piece of metal jabbed in the body is the best we can think of.
At least the hair removal is electric . . . and no, it doesn't smell like someone's cooking breakfast meats.
I've been spending the summer removing unwanted hair from my body in the most permanent, painstakingly simple, mind-bogglingly tedious way possible. My Lady does the electric massage with the fattest probe possible and sees my case as a pleasure to work on. I guess testosterone-induced body hairs are deeper rooted and more hooked into the bloodstream than the average peach-fuzz-on-the-chin or nearly-invisible-lady-sideburns that most electrolysists deal with.
We chat like housewives at the beauty parlor as she sticks a needle into my skin and electrocutes the hair follicles. AND SHE'S FUCKING FAST!!! She zapped 1251 hairs yesterday in a little over an hour. One of which was the single biggest hair she said she ever removed. She says all these worked-on wife ladies are always coming in wanting to remove hairs she can barely see, even with the microscope headgear and super fucking hot light on a 65-jointed metal arm. Mine she could see from across the street. It allows her to bring in the tv and we watch a talkshow for an hour and then I'm done (I'm now in love with refrigerated aloe).
Looks like I'll be done by about Christmas, with a little maintenance here and there every month or so, and then what? Where do I get my weekly dose of evenly-distributed pain followed by a less-painful-but-entertaining healing process (it's kinda like having to take care of a plant)? Will I get addicted to tattoos? Will I get hooked on piercings?
It's funny how all the forms of body modification (mentioned above) that I've partook of in my life involve a needle piercing my skin. You'd think, in this day and age, it would be digital or at least mechanical, but no, sharp piece of metal jabbed in the body is the best we can think of.
At least the hair removal is electric . . . and no, it doesn't smell like someone's cooking breakfast meats.
posted by Matthew Pazzol at 6:20 AM
3 Comments:
sounds fabulous! do you feel naked without your body hair? are you more sensitive to the fabrics of your clothes? are you more sensitive to the touch? an ex boyfriend of mine shaved his legs and the feeling of it grossed me out. it felt too feminine. i think that was when i knew our relationship was doomed.
so next time i see you you will only be what fraction of your former self? i dare to think.
isn't it weird fun bonding? ahhh i remember my first brazilian - and my last, but still when she put my legs behind my head i knew we'd be friends forever. ok so that's not true but i love my pedicure/manicurist and of course mmmm facials.
what do you liken the pain to most? ferreals. and do you get weird nerve responses in other parts of your body that aren't being touched like when you get tattooed? hmmn that might just be me and my nerve-retarded self.
refrigerated aloe is the bomb. thats coming from a paleskin who has used it quite a bit
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