Fingerman
The two hour drive to Columbus yesterday was chest-pinchingly stressful. It was raining hard. To you that may mean nothing, but out here, in the foothills of the mountains, in the middle of fucking no-where, it's disastrous.
Nothing here is built under the guise of modern technology. There are houses on our block that have no foundation. Everything floods. There was a penitentiary that closed down because of the Black Mold. It often feels like I'm on a prolonged camping trip.
I've seen peoples' houses in water up to the door knobs.
I've seen men entering the Wal-Mart in blow-up canoes.
Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, where they have modern conveniences like drainage and spill-offs; I am not born into a fear of water. I have always assumed that a little rain never hurt anybody.
Driving down the highway yesterday was a drag. Most of the "highway" is a winding, two-lane road, carved into the valleys of Appalachia. The 55 MPH speed limit is often broken-up by 35 MPH through depressing little towns that consist mostly of drive-through liquor stores, fast food, and a dozen different flavors of Christian worship places. If you see someone walking down the street, they don't look inviting or friendly or even all that literate.
The water was brutal. I've never really hydro-planed before and it's a scary thing even without the hills and tall drop-offs. The semis heading down steep grades can't slow down and tear past you, blinding your vision with tidal splashes. Visibility being 10%, you'd figure people would turn their lights on and not drive 20 MPH, but you'd be wrong.
We almost turned around out of fear that we wouldn't be able to get back home (it's very common for the route to Columbus to be impassible during heavy rain). I kept driving though, slowly, because Missy had an appointment with a Fingerman. It's usually a month wait to see a Fingerman, so the appointment can't be taken lightly. She's been in the market for a guy whose down with amputation. The finger bothers her. She wants it gone.
The problem is doctors are trained to save stuff, so they don't like taking stuff off. It's against their intentions. You have to find a guy who's secure enough in his doctor hood to accept that it's the best thing for keeping her hand working right. Every other place has looked at her, being a girl, and pretty much refused to believe that she doesn't care what it looks like, she just wants it to handle the tough work-load she requires it to perform.
She's really great in the doctor's office. It's impressive to see someone request an amputation and not let the doctor intimidate them. He said she'd have to convince him, and she said "or have a little accident in the kitchen?".
The last guy (who she waited a month to see because he was a "hand specialist"), recoiled in terror when he saw the finger in person. He and his nurse just exchanged dumb looks and sent her off because there was nothing they could do.
This guy was different. He was a real, honest-to-god fingerman of the highest caliber. He offered options that included skin grafts and nail-bed-scar-removal, but was reluctant to mention the big chop because he thought she couldn't handle the idea. But she can. After running your hand through a press, the idea of a controlled surgery is not off-putting.
Other high-lights of the trip included:
A sign on the highway, written in spray paint, that said
"WANTED: HOT SECRATERY"
A $6 black bomber jacket, size small, off the Old Navy discount rack
Two people farted audibly outside a Barnes and Nobles while I smoked
My mix CD:
1. First song off the newest-TRICKEY CD
2. Passive-Trent and Maynard
3. A.D.D.-System of a Down
4. Taut-P.J.Harvey
5. Doll-Dagga Buzz Buzz-Marilyn Manson
6. Mudvayne
7. The Remedy (acoustic)-Abandoned Pools
8. Remnants of Pearcy Bass-Rasputina
9. Lucky You-Deftones
10. Seven Years(acoustic)-Saosin
11. Neutral Milk Hotel
12. Not Enough-Billy Corrigan
13. Really Here-Far
14. Mysterions(live)-PortisHead
15. Rape This Day-Tomahawk
16. RCV 22:20-Pucifer
17. The Way You Make Me Like Myself-Doughty
18. Roulette-S.A.O.D.
19. All These Things-Rasputina
20. Submission-Failure
21. Them Bones-Alice In Chains
22. Appollonia-Team Sleep
Nothing here is built under the guise of modern technology. There are houses on our block that have no foundation. Everything floods. There was a penitentiary that closed down because of the Black Mold. It often feels like I'm on a prolonged camping trip.
I've seen peoples' houses in water up to the door knobs.
I've seen men entering the Wal-Mart in blow-up canoes.
Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, where they have modern conveniences like drainage and spill-offs; I am not born into a fear of water. I have always assumed that a little rain never hurt anybody.
Driving down the highway yesterday was a drag. Most of the "highway" is a winding, two-lane road, carved into the valleys of Appalachia. The 55 MPH speed limit is often broken-up by 35 MPH through depressing little towns that consist mostly of drive-through liquor stores, fast food, and a dozen different flavors of Christian worship places. If you see someone walking down the street, they don't look inviting or friendly or even all that literate.
The water was brutal. I've never really hydro-planed before and it's a scary thing even without the hills and tall drop-offs. The semis heading down steep grades can't slow down and tear past you, blinding your vision with tidal splashes. Visibility being 10%, you'd figure people would turn their lights on and not drive 20 MPH, but you'd be wrong.
We almost turned around out of fear that we wouldn't be able to get back home (it's very common for the route to Columbus to be impassible during heavy rain). I kept driving though, slowly, because Missy had an appointment with a Fingerman. It's usually a month wait to see a Fingerman, so the appointment can't be taken lightly. She's been in the market for a guy whose down with amputation. The finger bothers her. She wants it gone.
The problem is doctors are trained to save stuff, so they don't like taking stuff off. It's against their intentions. You have to find a guy who's secure enough in his doctor hood to accept that it's the best thing for keeping her hand working right. Every other place has looked at her, being a girl, and pretty much refused to believe that she doesn't care what it looks like, she just wants it to handle the tough work-load she requires it to perform.
She's really great in the doctor's office. It's impressive to see someone request an amputation and not let the doctor intimidate them. He said she'd have to convince him, and she said "or have a little accident in the kitchen?".
The last guy (who she waited a month to see because he was a "hand specialist"), recoiled in terror when he saw the finger in person. He and his nurse just exchanged dumb looks and sent her off because there was nothing they could do.
This guy was different. He was a real, honest-to-god fingerman of the highest caliber. He offered options that included skin grafts and nail-bed-scar-removal, but was reluctant to mention the big chop because he thought she couldn't handle the idea. But she can. After running your hand through a press, the idea of a controlled surgery is not off-putting.
Other high-lights of the trip included:
A sign on the highway, written in spray paint, that said
"WANTED: HOT SECRATERY"
A $6 black bomber jacket, size small, off the Old Navy discount rack
Two people farted audibly outside a Barnes and Nobles while I smoked
My mix CD:
1. First song off the newest-TRICKEY CD
2. Passive-Trent and Maynard
3. A.D.D.-System of a Down
4. Taut-P.J.Harvey
5. Doll-Dagga Buzz Buzz-Marilyn Manson
6. Mudvayne
7. The Remedy (acoustic)-Abandoned Pools
8. Remnants of Pearcy Bass-Rasputina
9. Lucky You-Deftones
10. Seven Years(acoustic)-Saosin
11. Neutral Milk Hotel
12. Not Enough-Billy Corrigan
13. Really Here-Far
14. Mysterions(live)-PortisHead
15. Rape This Day-Tomahawk
16. RCV 22:20-Pucifer
17. The Way You Make Me Like Myself-Doughty
18. Roulette-S.A.O.D.
19. All These Things-Rasputina
20. Submission-Failure
21. Them Bones-Alice In Chains
22. Appollonia-Team Sleep
posted by Matthew Pazzol at 5:49 AM
1 Comments:
good luck with the fingerman -
i'm glad to hear a sensible non-squeamer's up for the job. i'm assuming he's down with the plan and it's only a matter of time now. it sounds fantastic there and i can't wait to visit. i honestly mean that, don't mistake it for sarcasm.
please boat it next time - please please be careful. love, mom.
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